/a/muse(d)

Yes folks, the children came today.

And I’m still standing up.

Yay.

I’m here, not dead etc etc and so forth. Happy 2006 to anyone who still lingers hopefully around this seemingly abandoned blogspace! May it be a year of growing, of learning, of laughter and fewer large scale global disasters than 2005.

2006 looks to be a busy year for me, and I am currently enjoying the more relaxing calm before the storm that will inevitably break with the sound of the school bell on the 31st Janurary. Last night I had my first ‘first day of school’ disaster dream, and I’m not talking about thinking I was back in kindy wearing pigtails and a bag that was almost the size of me. I’m talking about the first day of shcool as the teacher, losing most of my children, constructing spelling lists in the most haphazard and non-professional manner, having other staff remark that my toenails were too long to comply with OH&S regulations, and feeling generally that I may explode with the overwhelming stress of it all. As you may imagine, this was disturbingly similar to my waking fears (minus the tonenails bit…that was totally complements of my twisted subconsience), and i woke up feeling that I should ring up and resign before I even start. I think my psyche is trying to tell me that I’m a neurotic mess.

But thankfully, I’m not. Although nervous, and disgruntled that I can’t be more prepared before the beginning of term, I am excited about putting my skills into practice and seeing if I can really swim in the big pool of public education. In moments of self doubt, I rest on others confidence in me, and think about happy things like flowers on my desk at school, art work hanging from the roof of my classroom, and actually impacting the development of a child’s life. When I start to freak out about the fact that my class will span Kindy to year five, I calm myself by thinking that it could be good practise for the day when I potentially teach at a tiny international school in the foothills of the Himalayas, and will be glad of the cross age-group experiece.

Anyway, God knows how it will turn out, so I should really settle down and concentrate on the more immediate tasks in my life, like tidying my desk so I can use it, planning kids church for the next term, making graven images of the bride and groom for a friend’s wedding cake, and seeing some long-neglected friends.

God was wonderfully faithful through all that 2005 threw at us, and I am convinced that he will continue to be so into this new year. As the old hymn so nicely puts it: